Love in the Time of COVID-19

A Gaggle of Starks

This might have been a sunny, perfect post about a sunny, perfect family heading out on their sunny, perfect journey.

But it wasn’t that kind of day. And we’re not that kind of family. And it’s not that kind of post.

Instead, here is the truth. Parts of the beginning of this journey were sunny and perfect, and MANY other parts were a complete shit show. In this small studio apartment on wheels, we have packed two adults, three kids, two dogs, and one incredibly patient cat. And we are all trying to figure out how to exist on top of one another.

Let’s just say, it’s a work in progress.

To back it up a bit, we have been talking about getting an RV for many years now. We’ve spent countless hours researching exactly what we want, but have never pulled the trigger because Brent generally works a lot in the summer and we felt like we would never use it enough to make it worthwhile. 

Enter COVID-19. And with it, the opportunity for Brent to take advantage of a voluntary leave option over the summer. Admittedly, the circumstances are not ideal given current conditions: unprecedented global pandemic, uncertain financial future, countless National and State Park closures making trip planning extremely difficult, additional safety/health considerations to make sure we are keeping our family and others safe as we travel, etc.

But then… I thought back to how many times we have sat around a campfire, glass of wine and s’more in hand, looking at each other saying, “I want more of this. How do we do MORE of this? Wouldn’t it be amazing if there were some sort of option where we could take time off of work so we could pack everyone up and go exploring?”

Enter COVID-19. Sometimes the biggest blessings come in very weird packages.

The second part of this backstory is that I’m a Seattle girl living in the middle of the desert. Most of the year I can manage because the sun is out and we’re busy doing life, but in the summer months when you are literally baked in an oven the second you set foot outside, I become the Captain of the Struggle Bus. 

It’s rough, you guys. 

I’m rough. 

I. Need. Out. 

I need green and water and trees and nature and hikes and floating and fields and flowers and campfires and bikes and all the outside things. 

So every year I strategize our escape, struggling to balance the cost and logistics of getting out of dodge for a few months while figuring out what to do with the animals, how to work around Brent’s schedule, etc. 

It’s a lot.

Enter COVID-19. I fully believe that the universe is continuously presenting us with opportunities.

How we perceive these opportunities and whether or not we act on them is completely up to us. Individually, I am rarely one to turn down an adventure; I love the exhilaration of following my gut when opportunities arise. But things get much more complicated when you add partners, careers, children, pets, school, and just life in general… am I right?

Since becoming a parent I have really struggled with this loss of autonomy, and I fight for those moments that make me feel like my former, free-wheeling self. So when I proposed this idea to Brent and he was actually excited about it, the fire and excitement in both of us was too big to ignore.

Which brings me back to today. Packing up and preparing the RV for 2+(?) months on the road has been an adventure in itself. We’ve largely been ignoring the kids, resulting in ridiculous amounts of screen time, which basically turns into a Gremlins scenario (the personality change is REAL). 

Everyone is short on sleep and patience. So, you know, what could go wrong? 

Let’s just say today was challenging. Just getting on the road was a struggle. Then after realizing our original plan wouldn’t work because of COVID closures, add in a couple stressed out parents trying to come up with a new route on the fly. Throw in a few sleep-deprived, cranky kids trying to adjust to the new normal and coming to terms with the fact that “campsite” sometimes means “parking lot.” All of that equals some not so fun moments.

Everyone yelled at some point.

But there were also some incredibly beautiful moments, not to mention beautiful scenery. 

Brent and I had some quiet time while driving where we were able to sit and appreciate what we are creating for our children. 

Olive and I sat across the table during breakfast and talked about what we love about each other. 

Will had trouble falling to sleep so we were able to have a quiet moment together while I helped him with some energy work to calm his mind. 

I watched Sam step up as Dad’s helper to make sure the rig was ready to roll, and witnessed some of the most tender father/son exchanges I have ever seen.

There is a common thread in all of these moments: real and intimate connection. The RV, the traveling, the scenery, the trees, the campfires… they are all just players in the main journey of us connecting more deeply with ourselves and each other.

Possibly the biggest gift in all of this is that we have absolutely no idea what the future will hold, which makes it impossible to plan beyond what we are doing right now. 

Instead of driving ourselves crazy rolling around in the possibilities, we’ve chosen to set all the possibilities aside and just live where we are right now. 

Experiencing this time, this moment, these people, this place. 

Just being ourselves. 

Together.