My Many Colored Days
I had a conversation with a friend the other day that has been rolling around in my brain ever since. It was kind of a feisty conversation, raw and vulnerable. The type of conversation that you can only have with someone you’ve been through some shit with. Someone who you know has your back, because you know you will always have theirs. It was a conversation where we both spoke our truth, and we both listened, and we were both annoyed, and we both walked away loving each other even more. Painfully honest, and full of love. Real.
These are the conversations I prefer.
These are the friendships I prefer.
At some point during this conversation, she made the comment, “Lisa, I read your blog, I can see how much you’re struggling.” And it floored me. Oh snap! Is that how I come across? And I thought back on some of my posts from the last few months and realized, damn. Does it sound like I’m complaining all the time? And I really had to sit with it for a bit.
Here’s the thing about the way I write- I’m sure you’ve probably noticed by now that I don’t have a specific schedule… or format or subject matter or any sort of plan at all.
I write what I feel, when I feel it. I write when the mood strikes or when a funny story forms itself in my head, just asking to be told. I write when the words keep me up at night, until I have no choice but to get out of bed and let them spill out. The result is that it may not be giving those of you reading this blog a full picture of our life out here on the road. You only get the snippets and snapshots that make their way from my brain to the keyboard… and we all know that’s not the full truth.
We have this book called My Many Colored Days (written by a little known author, Dr. Seuss, have you heard of him?). It was given to Baby Olive when she was born, of course, gifted by the same friend from the conversation I mentioned above. (I almost used “ironically” instead of “of course” in the previous sentence, but I corrected myself because I don’t think these things are accidents).
I love this book. And I refer to it often to help the kids understand their moods and emotions.
Some days are green and I’m a cool and quiet fish.
Some days are yellow and I’m a busy, buzzy bee.
Some days are brown and I feel slow and low low down.
Some days are happy pink when it’s great to jump and just not think.
ALL of these days are happening. Every page in this book gets felt at some point or another. And whether it’s a sad day, or a happy day, or a frustrated day, or an excited day I’m just so grateful to be FEELING IT ALL.
Some of the days and stories get shared, and some want to be kept inside.
When we’re happy and busy and in the flow of life, I generally don’t stop to write as much because, honestly, there usually isn’t time. But also, I just want to be in the moment, experiencing. The writing usually happens when we are moving at a slower pace, when my brain has time to process and reflect, but maybe I’ll try a little harder to pause and reflect on the happier moments a little more… if the words decide to come, that is. :)
All of these days and feelings are real. I will always give you real. I will always give you truth… hopefully just sprinkled with a little more joy and love.
I am SO GRATEFUL to have friends who check on me… and call me on my shit. (Will she EVER make it through a blog post without swearing? The answer is “No.”)
Please check on your friends, we all need each other so much.
And no matter what kind of day you are having, you can always rely on the wise words of Dr. Seuss:
“But it all turns out all right, you see. And I go back to being… me.”
In Joy, Truth, & Love,
~lisa
