Old Habits Die Hard
I’m falling into old habits, my friends. And it does not feel good.
During our travels over the summer (Phase 1, if you will) we moved at a dizzying pace. There was so much to see, so much to do, that we felt like we were at a constant sprint. We promised ourselves that in Phase 2 we would move slower. Take our time. Settle in to each place and allow it to unfold around us naturally, calmly.
We went on a beautiful stretch in Wyoming and Idaho where we did just that.
It felt amazing.
Pure.
Free.
It felt right.
And then it was time to continue on our intended journey; heading north to explore Yellowstone and then Montana before finding our way west towards Washington. We sensed the pull of the changing weather and felt it was time to move if we wanted to have any chance of hitting all of the scheduled spots before snow started moving in. So we said goodbye to our sweet band of new full-time friends who were starting their southern migration, and made our way north to Yellowstone.
Our time in Yellowstone was a stunning and frantic few days.
Before we go there, I’ll leave you with pics of our last few days in Driggs…
My last trip to Yellowstone was 18 years ago on a week long backpacking trip with a group of college friends. We explored the backcountry on foot, overloaded packs on our backs. We meandered our way through the stunning landscape, bathing in hot springs as they fed into creeks, picking wild huckleberries for breakfast, not seeing another soul the entire time.
It was heaven.
And it ruined me.
24-year-old Lisa backpacking for the first time through Yellowstone with ski poles. Legit.
I’m not sure what I expected this time around with three kids in tow… but it wasn’t that.
So much time in the car. So much whining. So many snacks.
The landscape is still stunning, of course. Actually, even more so as the last 18 years have given the area more time to heal from the devastating 1988 wildfires and much of the burn is now covered in a thick layer of tender bristlecone pines, lush and beautiful.
The geothermal activity is mind-boggling and fascinating; I could sit and watch for hours. I heard the term “Geyser Gazer” for the first time, and knew instantly that I had missed my perfect career path. And yet, there was no sitting and gazing to be had.
We were on the go every second. Packing every single sight into three days. On the run to beat the incoming fall weather. Sticking to some arbitrary schedule we had created only in our minds.
Frantic. Exhausted. Cranky.
You know how you’re all excited to take your kids to a place, thinking that they are going to be awed and inspired by the wildlife and stunning scenery, and then an hour in when they’ve seen 14 herds of Bison and endless geysers of thermal magnificence exploding from the earth they just want to go back to the campsite and play video games and watch JoJo Siwa videos, and then you proceed to spend three days arguing and convincing them to give a shit about this epic trip you’ve created just for them?
So yeah. That happened.
*Just stand in front of the effing boiling pot of magma so I can take a picture, goddamnit.*
Anyhooooo, Yellowstone was amazing. Highly recommend. Your kids will love it.
From there we headed up to Bozeman, Montana which now tops my list of favorite places. Most of you know that a large part of our intention for this year of travel is to find the place that we want to live next. Montana is a place that tugs deeply at both Me and Brent, so spending a good chunk of time getting to know it better has been important us.
Why we only scheduled three days in Bozeman, I will never know.
Again, WE made the schedule and it is completely arbitrary. The day before we left Bozeman we both commented on how we’d like to stay longer… and then we didn’t.
You guys, WE MADE THE SCHEDULE! What is wrong with us? Still figuring that out.
I wish I could give you a list of recommendations of the things we did and loved in Bozeman, but honestly, it was just the overall feel of the place that we loved. The area is beautiful, and the vibe of the town is just… I don’t know… chill.
We just felt good while we were there.
But alas, we left. Because we had this schedule, you see. This schedule that WE CREATED (have I mentioned that?).
So here we are in Missoula, another place that has captured our hearts and is calling us to more exploration.
But again I find myself stuck in that mindset of, “We must see/do/experience it all! We must fact-find and figure out if this is the place we are meant to be!”
And it is so counterproductive and exhausting and against everything I believe in terms of allowing life and experiences to unfold organically.
It’s an old habit.
They die hard.
I have a history of planning the shit out of things.
In my former life, every vacation came with an extended list of must-see/must-do items that we would systematically and painstakingly check off until the last day of the trip when we were allowed a “free day."
The day of relaxation, sitting on the beach, no plans, just soaking it in. This last day is when I would realize that “free day” should have been the schedule every day.
And then it was time to go home.
We’re in the middle of a year long vacation and my old “planner" self and new “just let it flow” self are in a battle of wills.
I can feel the pull of it. My inner scheduler has been fighting to take control for the past couple weeks and I have been letting her win.
And I can feel it in my body. I feel it in my soul. It’s too much.
I will not let her win. I will not fall victim to old habits.
That is the beauty of awareness and growth. I can see and acknowledge it, and without judgement, choose something different.
So, we have no plans today. We’re just going to see how it unfolds.
Nothing to see. Nothing to do. Just be.
*contented sigh*
In Joy, Truth, & Love,
~lisa
P.S. Vote. VOTE HARD.
